So, I Have a Crush

When you have crushes as a single 23-year-old girl, you realize how silly it is to not go up and just talk to them.

And then you still don’t.

Or you do approach them and find those first few seconds of close proximity are intense… For you. As in, the moment you sit down, your hands are shaking. 

Crap, did he notice?

And that’s what’s most embarrassing: I feel like I’m 14 with a crush on my English sub all over again. To the point that I’ve even revisited some sites on, “Signs He Likes You”. (That, my friends, is the second most embarrassing thing.) In doing that research, I’ve noticed that there are quite a few signs that are questionable at best. 

He stares at you a lot.

If you look at him and he looks away, he likes you. If you look at him and he maintains eye contact, he likes you. Am I missing something, or…

Look, fact is we all get that sudden feeling that someone is watching us. Who’s to say that he didn’t sense your gaze and is simply wondering, “Why does she stare at me all the time?”

His pupils are dilated.

To be clear, my issue isn’t with the science behind it. I looked into it, and unless your crush likes smoking weed, the only plausible reason his pupils would be dilated is because he’s attracted to you.

The real problem is, how do you get the constant to compare it to? Since I’m fairly certain his pupils won’t turn into saucers, it’s going to be a subtle change. How am I supposed to know what his eyes look like when I’m not around if I’m not around?

His eyebrows go up.

This one just sounds made up. It’s supposed to happen instantaneously–the second he spots you. So if he sees you before you see him, or if he sees you from across the room–bye bye sign.

Is eyebrow movement really that involuntary?

The only thing that I’ve concluded is that sometimes you know, and sometimes you don’t. If you want, you can always ask.

Or just cyber-stalk them. That’s the method of champs.

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